Rants of a Hypo DragonMama: I am DragonMama

I am Shawna. I'm 36 years old. I'm the mother of 4 amazing children currently aged 13, 16, 18, &19. I also have a wonderful little chihuahua fur child named Gucci. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, but we have been friends for quite a few years. I love dragons! I love just about anything magical and mystical and fantastical. My imagination is quite immense and truly has no boundaries. I enjoy singing and listening to all kinds of music from opera to rap to country to rock to classical to dubstep and everything in between. I think my life should have it's own soundtrack sometimes. That way, maybe I'll know what's upcoming, or the appropriate way to feel or act according to the music currently playing. Another passion of mine is art. I love to paint and to create. Currently the only painting medium I have used is acrylic but I hope to one day get into water-painting and oils, and maybe even some multi media stuff. I recently made a Christmas tree out of sticks and twine and some decorations and it turned out pretty cool. I'll leave a few pics of my work at the end of this blog.

I truly hope that i can gain a deep interest in blogging. I have so much in my head, and it would be great to get it out in some form or another. I deal with hypothyroidism and major depression which don't make my days picnics. I know it would be easy to use blogging as a distraction from the way i'm feeling but I hope to be able to be as honest as I can. I have been through a lot, both good and bad. Most of the time it certainly feels like the bad outweighs the good. I will have cheery, positive upbeat blogs. I will also have deep, dark blogs that will cover some very taboo topics and some very real situations that happened to me that I'm not proud of. Situations that maybe I still hold a lot of resentment about.

My goal over the next, say six months, will be to begin to work on purging and forgiving. I need to purge a lot of the anger and resentment and forgive myself and others. What happened in the past is the past. I can't continue to carry this darkness and anger inside of me or it will continue to hold me in this dark little cave I've created. Please don't judge me. I know this is a public blog but I will be writing as if I am the only one seeing it. For some reason my mind needs me to do this this way. I don't know why yet. I know I am an amazing woman. I know I deserve love and happiness. Now I have to convince myself of that. Let my journey of healing begin.

The Christmas tree I made