Final Fantasy 14

One of my coping methods to my depression and anxiety is to play video games. Well, I should say, a video game. I love playing Final Fantasy 14. I used to think I could not play video games because I had so much trouble using the controller. My boyfriend helped me set up a character on FFXIV one evening, and while he went to work I attempted to figure out the controller. It took a lot of frustration and me walking away but eventually I got the hang of it. I took a lot of pride in that. Some people may think that is weird but I do struggle with small things and I do get excited when I overcome those struggles. That's a personal right of mine ;-)

FFXIV is a massive multiplayer online role playing game. You create a character and explore the land and complete quests and dungeons to enhance your character. I am including a wiki link here that includes a much more detailed description of what the game is about. Final Fantasy is also offering a free 2 week trial. Just go to their website here. I'm on the Gilgamesh server if ya wanna join me.

This is a pic of my character, Azera, when I first started playing. I played mostly when my boyfriend wasn't home because I was embarrassed. I still felt that I struggled with something so simple that even little kids could do. I stuck it out though. I pressed on through the storyline and defeated monsters and even made some friends online. These are actually big things for me. I am a procrastinator and I don't like talking to people. So for me to stick to my guns and to even socialize somewhat, is an accomplishment in itself. I took pride in that. I told my boyfriend about my progress every evening and he was proud how quickly I was advancing. This gave me courage to begin playing in front of him more. It's surprising how a video game can actually give someone a sense of pride. I had been through a bad period prior to this and a video game brought back some confidence for me.

I've been playing for about a year now and Azera is just tough as nails. I still get anxiety sometimes when I have trouble defeating something the first few tries but I push until I defeat it. This is a method I need to apply more to life in general and one of the reasons I am doing this blog. For aha moments such as this. I let life moments knock me down all too often and I don't get back up. I stay down. I need to become more like Azera and get back up and keep on going til I defeat whatever is knocking me down. That is certainly a goal for 2017. I'm gonna leave ya'll with a few more pics of  Azera. Changing out her glamours is one of the most fun things.