Let Me Lie To You

My topic from my therapist this week was "A life without lies" and she left it open to interpretation. It got me to thinking about lies and how would life be without them. I can't say I don't know anyone who doesn't lie in some shape or form. We lie to ourselves. We lie to others. I have been deceived more times than I care to count. During my research on this topic I found that people in some study who consciously chose to not lie were happier and healthier over people who did lie. Ok, whatever. I'm not doing a study. I'm doing real speak opinion. 

I've experienced first hand how lies can crush people. I've been crushed over and over. My children have been crushed by lies. There are so many lies that have been told to my children by other people that even if I were to tell them the truth now they would never believe me. I am a liar. I admit it. I actually lie every single day. I tell the same lie every single day. It consists of two words. "I'm fine." In all actuality, I'm not fine. I'm in pain. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every day I'm in debilitating pain that I push through just for the sake of living. I will continue to tell this lie until it becomes reality.

I will fake it until I make it. I will smile and go about my day the best I can. I will take the good with the bad. I do tell other lies from time to time. White lies, imaginary lies, lies to get out of doing things, all sorts of lies. I'm a sinner and I lie. As I sit and think about that fact, maybe, If I can remember, I will make more of a conscious effort to not lie. I'm sure some people will not like it when I tell my opinion rather than what they want to hear but also maybe I can find a way to voice my opinion so it doesn't hurt feelings. I just don't know. I know I certainly can't lie around my therapist. She has a way of fishing out exactly what I'm thinking. She doesn't let me keep thoughts or feelings inside my head. It's frustrating at times but it's also nice to know I can say exactly what I'm thinking without being judged or feeling like I've burdened someone with something. I think that may be another reason we lie. We don't want to burden others with something.  Sometimes we feel it is easier to hold things in our head and work through them or push them to the back and forget about them, rather than share what is going on and feel like we have now burdened someone with something we feel like is a burden.

I dunno. I do know this is truly more of a rant type of blog tonight. I know I need to make a more conscious effort to make sure I tell no lies. I just don't think people want to hear the truth most of the time. I do know I don't like it when people lie to me. I also know that I often don't mind being oblivious to things that might stress me out until the stressful thing has passed so if someone lies to me to protect me from that stressful thing I might not mind it so much. I just don't know honestly. I don't think I could say how I would feel in that situation until I was in that situation. Lies exist. It would be nice to live in a world without lies, but I'm just not sure how that would work. Especially when it comes to governments. Which is another whole topic that I'm not going to get on so I will leave that alone and I think I'm going to go make something to eat. 

Shapes of Healing Crystals

One of the blog topics my therapist gave me this week was Shapes. She left it very open to interpretation. Something that I think is very interesting are crystals. Many people believe some crystals to have healing properties. For example, rose quartz is known as the "love stone" and is said to enhance relationships, creates a calm atmosphere, and dispels negativity. Hematite is one of my favorite stones and is said to enhance thought and provide a deep grounding.

Every detail of a crystal is important, including its size, its color, and its shape. All those details influence how energy flows throughout the crystal.

I found this wonderful list by author Kathleen Odenthal Romano that breaks down the list of shapes beautifully. I am only going to share a few of the shapes but I recommend you check her blog out for a full list.

The Cube - Many crystals come in the shape of a cube. This shape is able to harvest a significant amount of energy and can be very stabilizing. Like the calculated nature of their shape, these crystals are easy to program and are known to secure intentions well.

These unique crystals often look like rods or wands, however they are unique because they have points on both ends. These crystals are very powerful because they have the ability to transmit and emit energy from two places. Sometimes one end may be releasing energy while the other point is transmiting energy, other times both points may be transmiting or emiting energy. Because of this, they have many purposes, but should be used with care.

Fluorite Cubes

The Egg - This particular kind of crystal is known for its aesthetic beauty. These types of crystals are popular among those who practice acupressure as well as refloxologists. Egg shaped crystals ae known for holding energy that can find an imbalance within the body.

Quartz Egg

The Heart - The heart shaped crystal is known to attract loving energy, as well as energies that can help those with negative emotions. This healing crystal deals with the mental body, and works to deter sadness, grief, suffering and pain. The heart crystal has also been known to increase fertility.

Hematite Heart

The Pendulum - This popular crystal shape can easily be made into a necklace or used as a pendulum. When worn, this crystal is a great protector and healer. It also identifies imbalances in the human body. As a pendulum, this crystal can be used for a wide array of purposes, mainly by experienced energy workers.

Rose Quartz Pendulum

My Top 5 Travel Bucket List

We all have bucket lists, lists of things we want to do in life. I have a pretty long bucket list. I have actually separated my bucket list into sub lists. This is my Travel Bucket List. I'm not going to list all the places I want to go to, just a few of my top choices. 

1. Scotland

The specific places I really want to go see in Scotland are Loch Ness and Isle of Skye. According to Wikipedia, Loch Ness is a large, deep, freshwater loch in the Scottish Highlands extending for approximately 23 miles southwest of Inverness. Maybe I'll even catch a glimpse of the world famous Loch Ness Monster, also known as Nessie. 

Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness

The Isle of Skye is known for its rugged landscapes, picturesque fishing villages, and medieval castles. That in itself sounds like heaven to me and I could spend weeks just exploring. However, there is one magical place that I really want to go see and that is the Fairy Pools. The Fairy Pools are a natural waterfall phenomenon in Glen Brittle on the Isle of Skye. The photos that I have seen are absolutely stunning and I truly want to go there and experience the magic of the place for myself so very much.

2. Ireland

I'm not sure specifically where I would like to go in Ireland as of yet. I know I would probably like to visit some places that may be considered to be "magical". I'm certainly interested in visiting castles and waterfalls and hopefully seeing a fairy. There are so many beautiful places in Ireland.

Cashel Castle

3. Greece

Greece has some of the most beautiful, picturesque, perfectly luxe islands on which to escape and I would love to spend quality time on several of them for extended lengths of time. I would simply enjoy the tranquility of the ocean and the fresh air. Long walks and fresh food would be healthy for me as well. Ah Greece, how you call my name.

Seychelles Beach

4. Tokyo

Now I know so far the places I have listed have been pretty laid back and relaxing. Tokyo certainly isn't that. Tokyo is all city. For the tourist it's fast paced and bright lights and lots of excitement. I would love to experience so much of Tokyo. I want sushi. I want to visit the Owl and Cat cafes. I want to go see the Robot Restaurant show. I want to experience everything Hello Kitty and Sailor Moon and I want to go Kawaii Crazy!! I want to experience so much of Tokyo's culture.

Hello Kitty Cafe

5. New Zealand

New Zealand is such a beautiful country. Many epic movies with incredible scenery such as Lord of the Rings has been filmed there. I want to explore this incredible island and experience it's beauty and island culture. I want to traverse the beaches and mountains and emerald hills. I want to live it up in the cities and embrace Maori tribal cultures. New Zealand seems so clean, so wild, yet so diversely cultured. It's definitely on my list. 

Auckland, New Zealand 

I thought this was going to be a short blog to write but in reality I have spent hours exploring these places online. I may not be able to visit them in person yet, but with the power of the internet, I can travel all over the world through images and other peoples' points of view. Where would you like to travel? Leave me a comment below.

If You Just Smile

The first thing I would like you to do is to put on a smile. Studies show that smiling and laughing have a huge number of benefits to both mind and body. So by starting this blog off with a smile, we are becoming healthier already.

~     When you laugh, your body releases endorphins. These are brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters, which make us feel happy. They are also a natural pain and stress reliever.
~    Laughing reduces levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and gives us a quick burst of energy.
~    A good laugh can be beneficial to the lungs, boost immunity, and could even burn off calories.

Many people deal with stress these days. Stress can lead to many health problems including heart attacks and strokes. Smiling has been proven to reduce stress and can literally help your heart to be healthier. I say that right there makes smiling a win in my book. 

We all have stresses in our lives. Stepping back and taking inventory of those stresses can be invaluable. Take a close look at them and see how many of them you can simply remove. There will be many that will still remain but there is one thing we can do. "Fake it til ya make it." Acknowledge that the stress is there but hold your head high and smile til you can overcome it. Those endorphins will kick in and make things a bit easier. The science backs it up that it is possible to smile your way to a happier, healthier lifestyle. The physical act of smiling and laughing can have a psychological impact on your body, going so far as to release “happiness” chemicals and hormones in your body to make you feel better no matter what you’re going through. Win.

Positivity attracts positivity. Smiles are contagious. People who smile more are said to be more attractive and tend to be more successful, by appearing more confident, attractive, and approachable. By being successful and achieving our goals, we tend to be less stressful and even happier so yet another big win.

There are just so many benefits to smiling. It doesn't hurt to smile. Smile at every person you pass, be they friend or stranger. Smile and laugh at the silly moments in life. Smile at the precious moments. Smile through the tough times. Smile always. Just Smile.

20 Things That Make Me Happy

~My kids~ their smiles, their laughter, their love, their bantering, their everything
~My dog just being his loving, little Gucci self
~My amazing boyfriend's love and thoughtfulness
~My daddy and his silliness. I have the best daddy in the world!! 
~My brother. He is the kind of man I hope my daughters marry one day.

~Brand new stuff. I love when things are brand new and look so pretty on display. It doesn't matter if it's kitchen towels or makeup or a shower curtain, or new clothes, or even new cleaning supplies or groceries. It just makes me happy to see everything displayed all new, nice, neat and orderly. 
~The crisp scent of the air in the fall
~For the room to be really cold and to be under a nice cozy blanket when I'm ready to sleep
~Random roadtrips
~When packages come in the mail for me

~Giving someone a gift that I know they are gonna love and getting to see that happy look on their face
~Puppies. Just laying on the floor and being crawled on by puppies.
~A clean, organized, smelling good home
~When someone give me presents. I love presents!
~The color pink

~Trying out a new recipe and it being a success
~Zen moments of just relaxing with a cup of tea
~Gucci dancing round in circles when I come home because he is so happy to see me
~One of those hugs that just envelop you and holds you just right and lets you know that everything is gonna be okay
~Seeing the view count on my blog rise. It make me feel accomplished and that makes me happy.

Personal Bill of Rights

My homework assignment this week was to put together a Personal Bill of Rights. I was completely confused. I kinda figured out the basics but I had absolutely no idea how to write out a list. So I started researching. All I can say is WOW! I found so many inspirational sites on this topic. One site just kinda hit the target in the bullseye. The Bill of Rights that it lists says everything and more that I would want to say. Loveaddictionhelp.com is certainly a site I will be returning to. I have copied the Personal Bill of Rights from this site. I plan on referring to this list often to reaffirm what I already know in my heart, but I need to get my head on board.

I Now Declare...

1. I have a right to experience all my emotions- they make me neither weak nor strong, they are a natural part of being human.

2. I have the right to share and/or express my feelings to others if and when I choose, without obligation, guilt, or shame.

3. I have the right to trust my intuitions.

4. I have the right to NOT take responsibility for people’s behaviors, feelings, or problems.

5. I have a right to a healthy, loving, secure, nurturing relationship.

6. I have the right to respect and compassion from others– and NOTHING LESS.

7. I have the right to make my own decisions.

8. I have the right to care for my own emotional and physical wellbeing.

9. I have a right to spend time and energy on myself, to do things that make my life enjoyable; and treat myself as I want and deserve to be treated by others.

10. I have the right to distinguish who other people say I am (or was) and who I actually am.

11. I have the right to  NOT be treated like a "doormat", and if one does, to get up off the floor and stand up for myself.

12. I have the right to BE ME, without explanation, apology, or defense.

13. I have the right to say NO.

14. I have the right to say YES.

15. I have the right to NOT always be nice, good, right, and strong.

16. I have the right to be selfish; being selfish (attending to my own needs; self-nurturing) is healthy and good- as long as I don't hinder or disrespect others rights to care for themselves.

17. I have the right to smile, laugh, have fun, relax, be spontaneous, and play.

18. I have the right to trust others and trust myself.

19. I have the right to be vulnerable.

20. I have the right to be direct, assertive, and set strong/healthy boundaries- without guilt or explanation.

21. I have the right to develop and grow at my own pace, and in the directions I feel are best for me.

22. I have the right to view another person who is being critical/judgmental of me, as one who is projecting his/her own insecurity and shame … and know ‘IT IS NOT ABOUT ME’, but only "ABOUT HIM/HER'.

23. I have the right to NOT people-please at the expense of my emotional well-being – even if it means saying “no” to people who are used to hearing “yes”.

24. I have the right to put my needs first, before the needs of another.

25. I have the right to be IMPERFECT; to make mistakes and be wrong.

26. I have the right to say exactly what I mean, what I feel, or what I believe in a respectful manner, when I feel is necessary.

27. I have the right to fully and unconditionally forgive myself for past mistakes.

28. I have the right to ask for what I want or need.

29. I have a right to disengage/detach from anyone who deliberately or inadvertently puts me down, lays a guilt trip on me, or tries to control what I do, believe, or feel.

30. I have the right to change my mind; or decide on a different course of action, anytime I so choose.

31. I have the right to not identify with, or ‘carry the torch’, of my family of origin’s dysfunction, shame, or toxic rules/beliefs.

32. I have the right to allow positive people, experiences, and situations to freely and effortlessly enter into my life.

33. I have the right to ‘speak up’ if i desire, or ‘remain silent’ if I desire, about any topic, and around anyone, at any time, as I wish.

34. I have a right to 'where my feelings on my shoulders' (i.e., not smile if I feel sad or disappointed).

35. I have a right to grow and develop myself as a whole person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.

36. I have the right to love, to accept, to embrace, and to fully appreciate myself unconditionally.

37. I have the right to be in relationships without losing my identity; abandoning my interests, needs, and wants.

38. I have the right to Embrace an important Truth, that I AM ME - and I AM OKAY,  JUST AS I AM.

39. I have the right to fill my own needs and wants, rather than demand or expect others to do so for me. * And for my needs and wants to be respected, AT ALL TIMES.

40. I have the right and duty to myself, to fully honor and practice in my life, 'My Personal Bill of Rights'.

Happy New Year!!

Good Morning 2017!! It's a brand new year and time for new beginnings. The past few years, I have not made any resolutions because I know I'm a hypocrite, and the odds of me sticking to my resolutions are slim. This year I'm determined to make a change. I am going to make some resolutions and I am going to hold myself accountable for sticking to them. I have got to make some changes. I can't just lay here and wait to die. I can't do that to my kids and to the others who love me. I'm worth more than that and so are they. So here it is, my resolutions for 2017.

1.  I will stick to my blog. And try to find out more about myself in the process.
2.  I will go gluten free. I have to. My body is demanding it.
3.  I will go to a doctor about my medical issues and begin getting them taken care of.
4.  I will start my days off with positive affirmations.
5.  I will obtain an income.
6.  I will cut out potato chips and soda pop.
7.  I will exercise more and lose weight. 2 pant sizes down at least this year.
8.  I will go see my daddy at least once.
9.  I will make greater attempts to see my sons.
10. I will paint more and sell some of my paintings
11. I will begin saving money to move to Spokane.
12. I will do more to show my boyfriend that I appreciate everything he does for me
13. I will not beat myself up so much.
14. I will put more effort into my appearance.
15. I will have a wonderful 2017!

I'm sure I will think of other things later that I failed to put into here but this seems like a pretty good starting point. 2017 is going to be a great year and I'm ready to start it off grand. I've recently heard that positivity attracts positivity so I'm going to be as positive as I can. Let's do this 2017!!