Oh Oh Oh It's Magic

I have been tossing this topic around for a little bit and have been quite uninspired to write on it. It's one of the topics my therapist gave me. Inspiration came across tonight through quite a very amusing source. I am a follower of Eric Butts on YouTube. Every other Friday night he does a live Drunken Movie Night. These nights, Eric plays two B rated or worse (lol) movies, and with the help of Mike Elmore and usually one other guest, entertain myself and several of his other subscribers to their reactions as they watch these movies and get drunk. It is so very lighthearted and fun! Subscribers are able to interact with their hosts through live chat and Eric does an awesome giveaway package. 

It was during tonight's giveaway package that I was inspired. The giveaway was quite magical and one of the subscribers just happened to quote "Oh Oh Oh It's Magic" in the chat box. Next thing I know, that is the hashtag for the entry to win the prize package for tonight. I really want to win the package as it has a Tim the Enchanter Funko Pop figure, a Mysterious Beasts Swooping Evil Book and Model Set, an electric candle, one of Eric's Cd's, and a Rock Candy Enchantress!!!! I am like the only person in the world who doesn't have one of the Enchantresses. It just struck me as deja vu that one of my topics was Oh oh oh it's magic, the hashtag came up as the same, and this prize package is right up my alley!! I have to win this!!!!

I really enjoy these Friday night live streams. It's really hard to get out and socialize but it's fun to be able to comment from time to time in the chat and not feel the pressure to have to contribute to the conversation like I would feel if I were around actual people. I am able to sit back and enjoy the laughter and conversation while I blog or do product reviews, and I honestly think I'm more productive with my computer stuff when I'm listening. I want to give Eric a big thank you for these Friday nights. It is getting me some "socialization." I think it gets easier to interact with time and for me that is progress. I remember when I first started watching Drunken Movie Nights I just sat back and listened and watched the chat. Progress!!! Yay!

Okay I'm gonna rave about Eric's Channel just a little bit. He has a lot of awesome content including unboxings, preview reactions, movie reviews, toy reviews, and lots of Funko Pop. He is oftentimes joined by his amazing fiance, and their cuteness together is just too perfect!! You can check his channel out here. 

Eric Butts What I Know Right Now

All of the opinions in this blog are my own. Eric has not asked me to promote him in any way, shape, or form. I have just enjoyed his content so much that I choose to share it. I hope my readers enjoy his content as well. 

A Beautiful, Crisp Day

It was such a beautiful day today. I woke up nice and early and just felt so good today. It's rare that I have days where I just feel good and happy and perky, but today was one of those days and I went with it. My boyfriend had the day off so I got the bright idea to walk to the drug store so I could look for some cosmetics. He encourages me to walk when I am feeling up to it so I put on my makeup, put my hair up cute, and laced up my comfy walking shoes. I just felt really cute today. 

We were off and out into the crisp, cool air. It was just absolutely wonderful. I enjoy the cooler weather so this was right in my happy zone. Of course I took my camera with me just in case I found anything wonderful or magical. I did take some pretty cool pics. I love the bird houses on the tree. I can imagine little fairys living there. I want to leave treats for them. It's just so whimsical. Overall, it was just a wonderful walk and I enjoyed myself. It seems to be a little easier each time I go out, to actually go through the process of getting up and getting ready and actually going. Well, I get bribed with makeup too so that works. Enough of my silly jibber jabber. Here are the pictures I took on my walk. I hope you enjoy!!

I feel so pretty today!

Fairy Houses

I want to leave the fairies treats

If you would like to see what I got bribed with today, Click here for my haul video.

Feathered Beauty

Due to my depression and anxieties I usually don't want to leave my house. I don't want to interact with people. I don't want to leave my safe, comfortable cave. It's nice here and it has my dog and my bed and my food and nobody can hurt me in here. I don't have to put on my "I'm fine" face when I am withing my walls. I've been trying to get outside more since I have my new camera. I've been outside taking pictures of Gucci and the field behind the house and even the landlady's dog. My goal is to go a little farther from my house and take pictures too. I was really struggling with my inner lazy voice Monday morning. I wanted to walk to the Dollar General to get some stuff that we needed. My lazy voice said to just stay at home and relax, that it was cold and misty outside. My anxiety voice told me that it was so far and that I would be so sore if I walked and then there would be people there and it just wouldn't be worth the walk. 

Well I overcame my inner voices and I was rewarded. It was nice and cool outside so I knew I wouldn't get overheated which was a good thing. I took my camera with me intending to take a few pics along the way but I really wasn't inspired by anything. Until I got almost to the store. I couldn't believe my eyes. Sitting over on the fence about 15 yard away was this beautiful bird of prey. I couldn't get my camera out fast enough. I was just so excited! It checked me out as it posed for me. I'm not sure as to exactly what kind of bird it is but it is gorgeous. These pics are with no filters or edits. Just zoom. This feathered beauty is certainly an outstanding example of one of God's glories. I definitely plan on getting out on walks more often.

If any of ya'll happen to know exactly what kind of bird this is, please leave me a comment down below.

Primary Inspirations

I was waiting for an appointment the other day and I saw this children's play table. I loved the primary colors and was inspired to pull my camera out and just take a few pictures from different angles. I would love to get these framed!! So here is a bit of color for your abstract viewing pleasures this evening.

New Views On Life

I feel horrible that I have not kept up on my blogs like I should have this past week. In some ways I feel like I have been really busy. But then, I wonder, busy doing what? I have to do my days in bits and pieces because of pain tolerance. I can do one thing for a little bit then I have to lay down or sit real comfy for a bit. Then I can get up and do a bit more and repeat. I take Ibuprofen daily to get me through.

Now, my happy news!! My super duper amazing boyfriend managed to get me a camera!! I plan on taking short walks and taking pics as I go along and posting them in blogs. I just got the camera today and it is so much fun. I look forward to seeing the world through the lens. I'm very tired right now and probably going to go to bed very early. Here are the outdoor pics from today. My pup Gucci is the handsome little model posing for you.

DragonMama Reviews

So I know I have been quiet on here and not blogging on the schedule that I originally intended to keep. I was quite sick last week and this week I have been pretty emotional for some reason. I just don't know. I really just want to lay in bed. I haven't really been feeling like writing dragonmama blogs of a very serious nature. I did do a blog though today. I have another blog site called DragonMama Reviews  On this blog I do product reviews. It gives me something different to do. I like to get happy mail. It's like Christmas. today I got a PINCHme box in the mail. PINCHme is a company that wants to hear your opinions. You sign up, answer some profile questions so they can match you up with samples, and they send you samples in the mail for free. When you receive your samples, you submit your review of your opinions of the products. No credit cards needed. None of that trailing off into 50 different pages of offers that eventually end up in you wanting to buy something. Just straight up, you sign up and they send you stuff.  The next sample release date is this coming Tuesday the 28th so I would sign up in a hurry. Don't forget to do the confirmation email that you will receive and then answer the profile questions so you can get matched with samples. Use my link to join:

PINCHme Referral Sign Up Link

Another site I'm working on is Influenster. You do product reviews and campaigns and link up all your social medias and eventually you can get free boxes of goodies from them including high end makeup to review. It's just fun doing the reviews and keeping my verbal skills up. I'm not very eloquent at times so typing reviews and blogs keeps me from going completely stupid. If you want to check out Influenster, please use my referral code below to sign up. Who doesn't like happy mail?

Influenster Referral Sign Up Link

So far these are the only two sites that I have come across that legit don't give you the runaround by sending you to a zillion other sites. It may take you a while to get an Influenster box if you don't do the campaigns, but if you do the campaigns, link your social media, and have huge followings, you should be able to eventually get a box. The way I look at it is, It's free, it's satisfying to get positive feedback and views on my blog reviews of products I get sent, and it's Happy Mail!! Happy Mail makes me Happy

DragonmamaCooks Vegetable and Beef Soup

I love making a big pot of soup that can be eaten off of for a few days and can also have a large portion frozen for future meals. My mama taught me a veggie and beef soup that I have adapted into my own version that I cook in a huge stock pot. It feeds the family for 2-3 days and I put enough into the freezer for another 2 meals. It's an easy comfort food soup that just hits the spot on those cold winter nights. It is also very adaptable to your preferences. I will show you how I like to make it. Then, I will show some adaptations, including some of the ways my mom originally showed me.

Dragonmama's Vegetable and Beef Soup

1 large package of stew beef cut small
1 bottle of V8
2 cans of tomato sauce
2 cans corn
2 cans green beans
2 cans sliced carrots
2 cans potatoes
salt
pepper
paprika
(Use half the amount if you don't want to make enough to freeze)

Fill stock pot halfway with water. Add stew beef. Bring to a boil. Turn to med low and simmer for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally, until stew beef is completely tender. I choose to not add any seasonings yet because it seems to take longer for the beef to get tender. Once beef has reached desired tenderness, do not drain. You now have a yummy beef stock that will enhance the flavor of your soup. Drain your cans of veggies. Add the bottle of V8, your veggies, and spices to taste. The paprika really does add something special to this soup. Let it all simmer on the med low for about an hour, stirring occasionally. I usually go ahead and ladle out a storage bowl of soup now so it can start cooling off for freezing. This serves well with grilled cheese sandwiches or just some crackers. Add some Tabasco sauce for a little heat. If you try this let me know how you liked it in the comments below. Also if you have any alternatives or additions, please leave me a comment so I can try it out. Enjoy!!

Alternatives and additions
Couple lbs of ground beef instead of stew beef
^sub a lb of ground turkey or chicken with the ground beef
frozen or fresh veggies instead of canned
add tomatoes, peas, limas, white beans
any variety of veggies can be used
tomato juice instead of V8 but I recommend  V8 for extra vitamins
add tabasco during cooking
bread bowls 

Earth, Water, Fire, Air

I am in the process of decorating my living room. During this process, I have sat down and thought about ways that I have decorated in the past that I have really enjoyed. My favorite living room was in this old apartment building from the early 1900's. I had a corner apartment in the basement. This apartment could have gone gloomy really fast but with its high ceilings, plenty of windows, and my elemental decor, it was quite welcoming. I love introducing the four elements into a room. It brings harmony and calm to any room of your home. Here are some simple ideas on how you can bring each of the elements to your rooms and how they can help with anxiety and depression.

Earth

Don't be afraid to have live plants in any room of your home. Have a beautiful ivy or small potted tree in your living room. Place a pot of jasmine or lavender in your bedroom to help with sleep. Put a little bamboo plant or succulent in the bathroom. Have small herb pots in the window sill of your kitchen. Plants eat carbon dioxide and release oxygen. The tasks of watering and maintaining and grooming indoor plants can be calming in its repetitions. Also, the greenery and flowers can be very pleasing to the eye which can also reduce anxiety and depression.

Water

I love the sound of a babbling brook. Obviously I can't have a brook flowing through my home so I go with the next best thing, indoor water fountains. These can be found for as little as $5 at your local dollar store, but they are priceless for having the sounds of a waterfall. Water fountains can be placed in any room of your house and can be as big or as small as you want them to be. The water sound is the perfect white noise and has been proven to reduce anxiety.

Fire

I love candles. I am a candleaholic. I love candles in every room of my house. I change scents of candles out with the seasons. I will also light certain candles, depending on my anxiety levels, that may help my anxiety levels, such as lavender and jasmine. The flickering glow can be very calming and relaxing and can even help with bringing one into a relaxed state for breathing exercises and guided meditation. Candles should always be used under supervision. If you have a fire anxiety, there are electronic candles that give off the same flickering glow and some even have scents. Sometimes I like the glow and smells of my Scentsy warmer and it will substitute for a candle as well. 

Air

Nothing says air in a home like opening the windows. Fresh air is necessary. We need the fresh air and sun to thrive. Darkness breeds depression and anxiety. Sunshine and breeze gives us vitamins and energy. If you can't or don't want to open the windows, at least open the curtains or blinds for a while each day and let some light in your home. A little light each day can help battle the darkness.

These are all my opinions. I feel that introducing all of these elements into as many rooms of your home as possible can really have benefits to your mental health. I did research some on the benefits of each element and it seems that there is quite a bit of information that also agrees with me. I need to get some plants for my home and then I think I'll be set. Please feel free to share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below. Please subscribe to my blog and leave me a +1 if you enjoyed this.

Happy Valentine's Day Rant

This will probably be a short post. It is definitely a rant post. My week so far has not been the best. I have been so ill. I'm dealing with some extreme womanly issues that I seriously need to go to the doctor about but I cannot afford to go to the doctor. Yesterday was very rough. I was in extreme pain and very weak due to extreme menorrhagia. My boyfriend surprised me with flowers and cooked us steak and potatoes for lunch. His valentine's treat was the best part of the whole day and honestly the best part of my whole week so far. He is amazing. After we ate lunch, he went to work and I took a nap. My menorrhagia was getting worse and worse. I was so dizzy and was cramping so badly I couldn't stand it. I was certain I was anemic from blood loss. I finally went to the hospital where I sat in the lobby for two hours while there were people back and forth ranting about someone getting pistol whipped and her throat slit. I'm thinking in my head that this is a small town, not Chicago. This crazy kinda gangster stuff shouldn't be happening in a little place like this. Apparently after listening to some nurses, there have been a few shootings in this town recently. That's crazy. I have enough to stress about as it is. I don't need to worry about some stupid punk coming and drive by shooting me while i'm taking my chihuahua out to poop at night. This town only has like 5 red lights. It's small town, USA. Come on! The lady who had her throat cut was life flighted out and I was finally triaged and sent to the back. After blood work it was deemed I was not anemic. They wanted to try to get a urine sample out of me but I was so dehydrated. They told me I was dehydrated but just not quite enough for an IV. ??? I'm just astonished. I don't go to the hospital unless I feel I truly need medical attention. At this point I started having an anxiety attack. I was so frustrated with how I was feeling and how I felt that I was being basically ignored. I was having to request feminine pads every 20-30 due to such extreme blood loss. I felt like I was having a miscarriage or something. I finally told the doctor I just wanted to go home if they weren't going to do anything so I could have my anxiety attack and die of blood loss in the peace and comfort of my own bed or bathtub. They give me tylenol with codeine and send me on my way.

Boyfriend calls us a ride home and we leave the hospital, picking up some burgers and fries since I'm starving. Haven't had fast food in months. Get home, take all my meds and sit down to eat. Next thing I know, my chihuahua, Gucci, is acting weird, shaking his head, crouched on the floor, trying to crawl backwards, and can't walk straight. He's having a seizure. Can this friggin night get any worse?? Fortunately, him having a seizure is one thing I have prepared myself for. He has hydrocephalus and I knew one day, seizures would come. We've been lucky it's been almost five years for his first one. His seizure certainly knocked me out of my anxiety attack. I took action and spoke softly to him and loved on him until it was over. Thankfully, he was back to his Gucci self within half an hour or so.

Today I have just been resting with Gucci. I'm still really weak and dizzy. My amazing and wonderful boyfriend has been so attentive and loving. I really was blessed with a man who loves me through thick and thin. So many men would not do some of the things my man does for me. I have some homemade veggie and beef soup simmering on the stove. It was easy to make and pretty healthy. I have to eat iron rich foods right now or take iron supplements to replace what I'm losing. I'm actually going to go stir the soup now and then back to bed rest. Thanks for listening to me rant.

I Would If I Could

finally he wondered why he couldn´t feel his petrified heart anymore

Today's title is the topic my therapist gave me this week. My mood today certainly fits this topic. Fair warning, this blog may not be as upbeat as my blogs usually are. I don't remember if my therapist gave me a context in which she wanted me to use the topic, but I'm so cranky and moody today and it will reflect in my writing I'm sure. There are many things I would do if I could. Big things and small things would be joyfully accomplished if certain factors were in place which allowed me to accomplish them. Here's a list.

-I would go look for a job if I could have a mode of transportation
-I would walk to go look for a job if I could walk to the end of the driveway.
-I would lose weight if I could exercise without extreme back pain and my blood pressure shooting up and causing me migraines and my thyroid wouldn't hinder my weight loss
-I would get on meds for my thyroid and blood pressure and back pain if I could have a car and a job to pay for meds and doctor's visits
-I would eat only the healthiest lean meats and freshest fruits and veggies and most recommended foods if I could afford them but they are usually the most expensive
-I would spend more time out of the bed if I could move without so much pain in my back
-I would be exuberant and full of life and oh so social if I could overcome my anxiety and depression
-I would spend more time with my family if I could have some transportation to where they are
-I would love to travel if I could have funds to do so
-I would love to win the lottery if only I could have a dollar to play it
-I would feel better right now if I could have a snickers bar
-I would paint more if I could have more canvases
-I would be happier if I could just get all this horrid crap out of my head that takes my emotions all over hell and back and just wrings me out like a wet rag
-I would move to Spokane if I could
-I would buy a house if I could
-I would go back in time if I could
-I would be invisible if I could
-I would disappear if I could
-I would run away if I could
-I would give my kids everything they want if I could
-I would be very happy if I could

I will go and make a cup of tea and then curl up besides Gucci because I can. I'm tired and cranky today and depression has taken full advantage of that and moved in. I would kick depression out if I could gather up the energy to do so but even my anxiety is too tired today so depression it is. I'm going to sigh and sit in the dark and just be sad. If I can get the energy up, I may play Final Fantasy 14. I just don't know. I feel all the energy I did have is just about gone now from writing today's blog. What kind of things would you put on a "I Would If I Could" list? Leave me a comment below. Hearing from my readers makes me happy.

Take A Walk With Me

Yesterday I had you breathe with me. Today, I want you to again find a nice quiet place where you can relax for about 15-20 minutes. We are going to practice some guided imagery. Guided imagery is another great way to completely relax and take control of your thoughts. Anytime you feel your thoughts start to stray during this process, just bring them back to focus on our task at hand. I have gone through a few YouTube videos that I thought were really nice to listen and relax to. I had no problem escaping into these peaceful places. Just click the links under the three pictures below. The last one was my favorite ;-) Click a link, close your eyes, listen, and relax.

Beach

Garden

Dragon

I hope you found this blog interesting and relaxing. I know the research was certainly relaxing after sitting there with my eyes closed and going through several videos til I found a few I really liked. I'm going to actually get ready to head to bed soon.

Breathe With Me

Today I just want you to breathe with me for a while. Find a place that you can be uninterrupted for about 5 minutes. If you are at home, make this a zen moment. Fix a cup of tea. Light some candles. Turn all distracting noises off and turn a fan or other white noise on. 

Relax

Inhale deeply through your nose for a 4 count
1 2 3 4

Hold that breath for a 7 count
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Exhale through your mouth for an 8 count
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Feel a bit clearer headed?

Let's do this again. Repeat the above steps beginning with relax. Repeat until you have some mental clarity and control of your thoughts.

I have found myself doing this up to four or five times til my brain is focusing on my breathing only and not on anything else around me. At this point, I am clear headed and ready to move on to spending some time in my "Happy Place," doing guided imagery exercises (which I have only done twice now), or commencing whatever task I was preparing myself for. In today's case, it was my blogging. I have found that doing these controlled breathing exercises in the morning with my tea helps me wake up faster and be more alert. This technique was taught to me by my therapist as one way to cope when dealing with anxieties. When you start to get anxious, do these breathing exercises and take control of your brain and thinking processes before your anxieties do. The process of keeping track of the breathing and the counts allows you to have control of the thinking. The deep breaths allows nice full loads of oxygen to get to your brain for better mental clarity. 

DragonmamaCooks Baked Mac & Cheese

Some days I enjoy cooking a nice big dinner. Other days, it's all I can do to make it to the fridge for a sandwich. I do have loved ones to feed. Casseroles are an easy way to get meal time done without a whole lot of effort. Today I want to share my absolute comfort food dish. It's loaded with cheesy goodness and lots of calories but it's oh so yummy! This is so simple and inexpensive and you can change it up so many ways to fit what you and your family like. I'll lay down the basics and then you can use your imagination for add on's or change ups.

Dragonmama's Baked Mac & Cheese

1 lb Elbow noodles

1 lb Medium cheddar cheese (or any cheese you choose)

1 can tomato sauce

1/2 stick of butter

Salt 

Pepper

Garlic salt

Set oven to 350. Cook noodles according to package directions. While noodles are cooking, cut cheese into small cubes. I prefer to cube my cheese rather than use shredded cheese. It just tastes better to me. If you are adding any extras, now would be a good time to prep them as well. Once noodles are cooked add the butter, tomato sauce, spices, and about 3/4 of your cheese to the pot and give it all a good stir to combine. Pour it all into a 9x13 baking pan (or whatever lg/med baking pan you have that it will all fit in). Top with the remainder of the cheese. Pop in the oven for about 30 mins. I recommend you let this cool for just a little bit before you eat but it's all up to you. Enjoy!

Alternatives and Additions

Gluten free noodles can be used instead

2nd can of tomato sauce if you like it saucy

1 lb Shredded cheese for those days when you just can't 

1/2 lb x 2 of your favorite cheeses combined

Slice kielbasa or other link sausage to mix in or layer on top 

Add bacon, chicken, or hamburger

Use tomato soup instead of tomato sauce

If you try this, please leave me a comment below and let me know how it turns out!! Also I would love to hear from you in the comments what your favorite comfort food recipes are! I would love to try some and maybe even feature them in a future blog.

Let Me Lie To You

My topic from my therapist this week was "A life without lies" and she left it open to interpretation. It got me to thinking about lies and how would life be without them. I can't say I don't know anyone who doesn't lie in some shape or form. We lie to ourselves. We lie to others. I have been deceived more times than I care to count. During my research on this topic I found that people in some study who consciously chose to not lie were happier and healthier over people who did lie. Ok, whatever. I'm not doing a study. I'm doing real speak opinion. 

I've experienced first hand how lies can crush people. I've been crushed over and over. My children have been crushed by lies. There are so many lies that have been told to my children by other people that even if I were to tell them the truth now they would never believe me. I am a liar. I admit it. I actually lie every single day. I tell the same lie every single day. It consists of two words. "I'm fine." In all actuality, I'm not fine. I'm in pain. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every day I'm in debilitating pain that I push through just for the sake of living. I will continue to tell this lie until it becomes reality.

I will fake it until I make it. I will smile and go about my day the best I can. I will take the good with the bad. I do tell other lies from time to time. White lies, imaginary lies, lies to get out of doing things, all sorts of lies. I'm a sinner and I lie. As I sit and think about that fact, maybe, If I can remember, I will make more of a conscious effort to not lie. I'm sure some people will not like it when I tell my opinion rather than what they want to hear but also maybe I can find a way to voice my opinion so it doesn't hurt feelings. I just don't know. I know I certainly can't lie around my therapist. She has a way of fishing out exactly what I'm thinking. She doesn't let me keep thoughts or feelings inside my head. It's frustrating at times but it's also nice to know I can say exactly what I'm thinking without being judged or feeling like I've burdened someone with something. I think that may be another reason we lie. We don't want to burden others with something.  Sometimes we feel it is easier to hold things in our head and work through them or push them to the back and forget about them, rather than share what is going on and feel like we have now burdened someone with something we feel like is a burden.

I dunno. I do know this is truly more of a rant type of blog tonight. I know I need to make a more conscious effort to make sure I tell no lies. I just don't think people want to hear the truth most of the time. I do know I don't like it when people lie to me. I also know that I often don't mind being oblivious to things that might stress me out until the stressful thing has passed so if someone lies to me to protect me from that stressful thing I might not mind it so much. I just don't know honestly. I don't think I could say how I would feel in that situation until I was in that situation. Lies exist. It would be nice to live in a world without lies, but I'm just not sure how that would work. Especially when it comes to governments. Which is another whole topic that I'm not going to get on so I will leave that alone and I think I'm going to go make something to eat.